Not to Brag, But... SAH Moms, You Are Crushing It! -R3-

In the nearly nine years that I've known her, my wife has never made the bed. She just happens to believe that bed making is futile and I just happen to love her for who she is, so it's fine. In fact, it's kind of adorable that pulling up the covers doesn't even cross her mind. In the inevitable co-dependency of marriage, it reminds me to regard her as a unique person.

But something happened last Monday, because the bed was made! It was fluffed and propped and highlighted by golden sunshine streaming through the window, as if Happiness Fairies had let themselves in and touched the place up a bit. Not only that, but the kids were happy and the floor was clean and dinner was sizzling on the stove. Waa-laaa-hhh (the sound of fairies at work)!

What gives, you ask? How do you get yourself some Happiness Fairies?

Switch roles with your spouse for the day! I started (a tiny little on-call) job and W stayed home as Ms. Mom during my orientation. So ya... I got a job! I'll be working three shifts per month or so, and I get to pick which days (it'll be weekends), but it still feels big. Like make-the-bed-big, apparently. :-) Because it sorta kinda signals the end of my stay-at-home mom era. The kids are only getting bigger and as time goes on, I'll only be working more. I've been climbing this big humongous Hill-of-Altered-Identity-and-Reality (= SAH motherhood) since Nug's birth, and now, quite suddenly, it is flattening out and delivering me down to... whoa, the outside world.

I'm on the cusp of re-entry.

Cookie, tackling the big slide.

And like W's enthusiasm at playing Ms. Mom, my first week of orientation was a v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n. I drove the car alone. ALONE! I watched as my thoughts rose from my head with quiet and deliberation. I listened to the radio news. I lingered in the bathroom and admired my reflection. I had this super weird sensation that I can say "yes." Yes, that anything is possible and I can commit to a world outside of my kids (what is that called? agency?!). I felt competent, smart, and confident. I felt silly for ever doubting that I am competent, smart, and confident (oh wait, I'm a parent, duh)! Oh, how good it felt to have a clearly defined role and skills to apply towards a tangible outcome.

(Get this... I just SIGN OFF when I'm done, and haha, I get paid to do this!)

I would never willingly trade my stay-at-home mommy badge, but my "vacation" away gave me a newfound respect for how really very hard this work is <enter PAT ON THE BACK here>. As I begin to peer beyond the reach of my stroller to the outside world, I don't want to forget the pride I have in my SAH mom work. So, on behalf of the SAH sisterhood,* it's time for my annual** motherhood job evaluation- round three!
*Surprise, I actually don't speak for all moms. This is just my opinion.
**You can read Year One & Year Two here

Top Ten Reasons (Me and) Stay-At-Home Moms Are Dominating In Their Sweatpants Everywhere: 

1. When was the last time you changed your career, social group, financial status, clothing wear, eating habits, and daily rhythm for the foreseeable future? Enough said.
2. Multitasking, on steroids. There is never just one task. We don't just brush our teeth when we could be brushing a child's teeth at the same time. And holding an infant. 

   

   Totally not flattering but totally accurate.-July 2015 

3. The SAH mom "break room" exists, but only in our heads. As in, good luck checking out for a quick fifteen minute refresher or finding a colleague to cover your work assignment. But...
4. We are practically Zen masters. I often think of SAH motherhood as a maze to find inner peace. I am constantly tasked to make peace with my parenting choices and the fact that there is no hope for mastery. Taco Tuesday, however, is a big success. So there's a win. 
5. Alone time is on the toilet (maybe) or at 5am when everyone is sleeping. Now you know when I write these blog posts. ;-) 
6. Job training? A license? Nah. It may be your very first cruise, but surprise! you are the Captain. I'm plotting the course and floating all the weight on discipline and development. 

   

   Rock plopping at our first family camp trip

7. Parenthood is a non-refundable, lifelong continuing education unit, and SAH moms are permanently assigned the "balance" module. Somehow, in the fog of exhaustion and tedium, we have to model self-care as well as put our kids first because...
8. You're like Miss America, the President, and an Eagle Scout all rolled into one: role modeling is 24/7. There is (mostly) no one else around and THEY ARE ALWAYS WATCHING. 
9. But maybe you've managed to get ahead and feel a bit competent? Good for you! Enjoy that because soon you'll be a puddle on the floor, convinced you are the worst parent ever. This cycle will repeat itself nearly every day. It's the most emotional job ever. My advice: check your ego and your expectations at the door because... 
10. I'm actually blowing it all the time, but I know it and embrace it. Indeed, I am perpetually seeking improvement, but I believe that my authentic self-- complete with major screw-ups-- is the best and only person my kids desire. 

This is my crew of strong, inspirational SAH mamas waking before the sun for our Spartan Race. I'm on your far left.
Nov 2015

Update: I quit the job! I lasted three days on the unit, but became worried about the safety of my license. I also couldn't keep up with working without rest from 6am until 11pm. Much respect for those moms who head off to work everyday, doing just that. I am humbled.